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Today I.....
It was so much fun. It wasn't stressful I mean it was hard and I didn't get all the work the 1st time.. or sometimes the 3rd or 4th i need some practice but it was great. Everyone there was fun and nice and it seems like really great group and I want to help rebuild it. My finger is a little swollen and my legs feel like Jello but it is so worth it.
I need to work on my essay thats due and tuesday and get my school stuff together.. I also need to change my availability at VS so they will put me back on the schedule. I have a lot of "to-do's" but I'm going to get it together and make this work. I don't want to ask my dad for money I want to pay for Medea on my own. Even if that means fundraising.... ewww... But I gotta do what I gotta do.. Ok well its essay time...


P.S. John You're a Dork... and it was nice seeing you this weekend

Oct. 29th, 2008

...I hate who I have become. I am jealous, sad, and confused. I am angry, hurt, and some what relieved. Relieved that I can start a new path in a different direction. All of the other things because I'm not sure what I'm leaving behind is worth giving up. They say everyone has their first love, first heartbreak. Now i believe it. I came I saw and I was destroyed. The only thing left for me to do is start over. Normally I would say "I'll never love again," but that is so cleche. Cause truth is I will. I don't know who, or when it will happen. But I know it will come. I don't know why I look back and think we were meant to be when everything about us was wrong. I always had this hope of finding that perfect someone, and I guess my little obsession with love played me for a fool. I ignored that bad because I wanted so much for him to be the one.
I still don't really know who I am or what I'm going to become. I've always said I wanted to make a difference, be something out of the ordinary. But I've come to realize I'm just like everyone else. I have the same emotions same ideas I'm human. Ordinary but hardly simple. My mind wonders like everyone else's. And I'm unsure of what to do as of now. Lately I have realized I have waisted all my hopes and dreams on a love that wasn't meant to be. And now I have no hopes or dreams I'm basically a black slate waiting to be filled with more nonsense....
The more I think about the future I'm actually excited about it... I feel a sense of peace hovering over me waiting to fully set in. Its nice. I can't sit around moping I need to get out and be me again... I have changed... but it seems for the better I have more of a respect for people and a better sense of being I suppose. and I will always have my friends that I care about to help me on the way... Speaking of friends... I have a lot of friendships to rebuild.
So dear friends who have been worried about me. I can honestly say I'm doing ok. and from here on... it will only get better.

I'm about to go to work so this is just gunna be short and sweet. Well, depending on how carried away I get of course. Lately I've just been hanging out. I worked about thirty six hours this week because its the first week of our semi-annual sale. Don't worry girls the sale doesn't end till july 1st lol. For those who do not know I am working at Victoria's secret now. It's a pretty fun job. You get to interact with a lot of people all the time and everyone I work with is super nice. They like me there. It does have its downfalls though. It's far, alot of work, and credit is a pain in the booty to get. I'm starting to think that with gas prices driving all the way to the wellington mall to make $7.25 an hour isn't going to cut it. I started teaching color guard at Park Vista. The girls are doing pretty well I've been kinda getting on their case. Now that they are mine they need to be good!I still plan on trying out for Medea provided they come back. Gorge the instructor is also instructing two other high schools and writing Park Vista's drill for winter guard. We are not bringing back Tim Lee thank god! That man turns anything good into a bad idea. I love working with Mark and Darby. They are so much fun. My break up with Dj..well his break up with me lol has been going... lol not good but not bad. Of course I still have his pictures in my room and catch my self looking at them hehe I still can't help thinking what if. I thought we were going to last but, as usual I'm wrong. Either way I still think very highly of him and maybe one day i'll be able to talk to him with out that heart shattering feeling. He came to one of the band camps and as soon as I saw him my heart dropped. I think it litterally knocked the wind out of me. I guess that is what love is that heartbreaking feeling you get after its over every time you see them. I'm sure it won't be there forever I can't wait for it to go away. I still have his stryke shirt and what not. I should get that back to him. Everything will be ok again one day it's just the way like works. Shit happens. Other than that I have been catching up on my movie watchin haha and video game playing. I went to the gym yesterday my abbs hurt so much. I have also been working on my tan haha beachin it up hehe. Anything to keep my mind from all the shit.. lindsay has been helping me out alot. shes a very good friend.
well, i got to get ready for work. It's bra sellin time.
Have a nice day guys!!

3 words...


Thank you,

uh. Yeah.

I never write in this thing and there is probably a good reason for that, something on the lines of no one gives a crap about what i have to say lol. I don't even like reading these things. But, whatever I have nothing to do and Dj wont wake his lazy ass up. Times with him and I are sometimes good.. sometimes bad.. it gets rough. He just can't trust me I don't know why I haven't given him any reason not to I haven't done anything wrong I'm absolutely head over heals for that boy why can't he just see that. Either way I'm not going to give up on him so he's going to have to deal. hehe. This morning I woke up and my car battery died so I didn't go to school.. I played some devil may cry 4 but that got old cause I couldn't beat this stupid S.O.B. then I started watching this movie on comedy central with Robbin Williams and i have been sitting here eating Cheez-its and drinking blue Powerade. I'm so bored. I wish Dj would answer his damn phone. I need to go to PBCC to turn in this financial aid bullshit. I have to go to work tonight too. Good Ol' Victoria's secret. I'm tired.


Im far from lonely.

This weekend was fun. Saturday was the first day in a long time I had a whole day to do whatever I wanted and of course I spent it with Dj. Totally worth it. We went to Bass Pro-shop's OutDoor World and went up to the archery range and shot some arrows. I HIT THE BOX! lol exciting then we came home and I made us dinner. Then we went and saw SAW4 at City Place. It was fun it was a great day lots of relaxing and such. Today we hung went to church. Lets just say that it was quite amusing. Then we went to the great ol' Taco Bell, Dj's home and then we feel asleep at my house for an hour or so then went back to his place and had dinner with the family. They are so nice. I think they might actually like me!! lol. I love Dj, and his fabulous family. He is so much fun and I just feel so comfortable around him. I'd say we have an amazing relationship. He worries a lot but I love it. He's quite caring. It's nice.
That's about it.
DJ you're a sweetheart I love you baby.

Oct. 28th, 2007

Ok so I just deleted all my old entries they dated back to may 12, 2004 when I first got my live journal. I felt my past was a bit to dramatic or at least thats how i put it out there in writing. Im sure my life wasnt that exciting.

Latly I have been so very busy. Marching band, PBCC, highschool, research papers, tests, competitions, things to take up all the hours in my days. I can only work one day a week and im bring in like zero cash.

As of October 5th 2007 DJ Macleod and I have been dating and still going strong. lol He's amazing.

Last Night we went to FBA for those who do not know thats the Florida Band Assosiation it was held at santaluces and its where marching bands go and get rated "superior","excelent","good","fair". Park Vista, Thats us received straight superiors in all Categories receiving an overall rating of SUPERIOR!

things are going well
Michelle ♥

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